My Heart Belongs in Oklahoma

Returning home from a mission is one of the most challenging experiences I have had in my life so far. I wish I had the ability to share with each of you the totality of what is on my heart. Then again, maybe the Lord allows us to experience unexplainable feelings so that we might grow closer to Him who is the only One who understands.

Today, I have been home for a whole month (almost an entire transfer) and I'm still facing struggles that I thought would be long gone by now! For example...

-I feel out of place even when I'm at home.

-I can't seem to be by myself for much longer than an hour before I start to feel anxious.

-Music is still a huge adjustment! I'm confident I've listened to the music on my mission flash drive more than I have listened to anything on my free 3 month trial of Apple Music.

-I just keep watching Disney movies because everything else is too intense.

-I still eat pretty fast like I have someplace to be. Seriously, most of my family still has half a plate of food when I finish!

-People keep asking me my plans and in my head I think, "Honestly? To make it through the day."

-It's still hard to introduce myself as Casey and not Sister Warren.

-I miss the people of Oklahoma so much that it hurts sometimes. Most days I feel like I was taken out of my home there and placed in the foreign land of Utah.

The difficult experience I am having adjusting to home reminds me of the difficult experiences I had as a missionary. In those moments, the only thing I could do was turn to the Lord. That's the only way we can conquer our trials and our weaknesses. Prayer, church, scripture study, acting on faith, making good choices, etc.

Aside from the struggles I am having, I'm full of gratitude for the things I learned and brought home to cherish. For example...

-I learned that I actually like okra and fried chicken ain't that bad. 

-I picked up the Okie language of y'all, fixin' to and bless her heart.

-I learned to like frizzy hair and unpredictable weather.

-I learned to love people and to believe in them despite the comments from others.

-I learned to see the positive and the good in every situation.

-I gained a testimony of Joseph Smith and I let his trials be my motivation to do better.

-I met people whose stories impacted my life in many ways.

-I built friendships that I know came before this life and will stay through the next life.

-I learned how to be more Christlike in my words and actions. Though I came far, I am still imperfect and pray I can continue to improve throughout my life.

-I came to understand the Plan of Salvation and just how perfect God's timing is for every person.

-I grew in my faith and became more grateful for trials.

-I made a home away from home, where I long to be.

Oklahoma has my heart. It will always be the place where the Lord made of me more than I could have ever made of myself. Thank you to everyone who worked on His team and touched my life; if you met me, that's you. Also, thank you to everyone who knew me before and supported me, without your support, the experience would not have been the same.

Never take for granted the opportunities that the Lord gives you, they might just change your life.